I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
