I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
