We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
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