Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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