Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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