I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
