i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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