The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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