sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
