I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
