The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
