Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
