hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
