I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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