im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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