So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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