Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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