May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
