Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize