my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize