I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dignity is for republicans.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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