you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
