toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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