We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize