I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
