I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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