Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
