Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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