Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
