My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
These tits shall not be calmed
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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