I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
