Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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