I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
