What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
