we're chasing vodka with high fives
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
