evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
