You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
