Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
