Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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