Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize