Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
