we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
BRING THE BAGELS
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
