Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
