I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
