Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
