we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
