when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
