Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
