I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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