there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
