your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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