my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
