i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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