you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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