just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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