They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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