she was so not down for the gang bang
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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