And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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