well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
