Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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